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dancing under the colored strobes at The
Mix. It was a packed Saturday night, the
first night in a week he and Marco had a
few hours off. He used to love this
place, but tonight it felt crowded and
shallow and wrong. All wrong.
A dark-haired guy was giving Luke
the eye from the bar. He was good-
looking, a bit on the dangerous side. In
the old days, he would have been just
Luke s type. But Luke knew how it
would go mutual blowjobs in the
bathroom or, if it was high romance, a
fuck at the guy s apartment nearby.
There d be a wink and a clear invitation
to leave when it was done.
Luke had no interest in that, not
when he was feeling so homesick for
Alex. Alex, whose sweet body fit
perfectly against his; Alex with the
unbelievable mouth; Alex who made him
laugh, who loved him; Alex who d said
having Luke make love to him had been
the best thing that ever happened in his
life.
Standing here, remembering a string
of one-night stands, Luke knew it had
been the best thing that had ever
happened in his life, too.
At that moment, Luke had another
minor epiphany. He would rather be
sitting on a couch with Alex watching a
movie than in the hottest gay club in San
Francisco. And he would rather spend
his life walking on rail trails, if Alex
was by his side, than climbing the most
magnificent peaks. And the thing is, he
could go climb those peaks if he wanted.
Alex would be happy to cheer him on.
But chances were that most of the time
he d prefer to be with Alex. And that
was okay. That was better than okay.
Luke checked his phone again. Alex
had not returned a phone call or a text
since Luke left him eight days ago. Luke
had been swamped since he d stepped
into the office, so he hadn t had too much
time to worry about it. But the bad
feeling that had been growing in the pit
of his stomach was now turning into a
chilling dread.
Luke wove his way through sweaty
bodies onto the dance floor and told
Marco he was leaving. Marco looked at
him like he was crazy, but Luke just
shook his head and made his way out.
On the sidewalk, Luke tried Alex s
cell phone again. Voice mail picked up.
 Hey, babe, it s me. Message number
eighty-nine. I guess you re really upset
with me. Please call me so we can talk.
He hung up.
THE next day Luke stepped out into the
lobby at City Shark Games and made the
call he d been avoiding. Amy had given
him her number, in case there was ever
an emergency. It was humiliating, but he
dialed it. She picked up.
 Amy, it s Luke.
She was silent for a minute.  Hi,
Luke.
 I m trying to reach Alex. Is he
okay? He hasn t been returning my e-
mails or calls.
 Alex doesn t want to speak to
you. The finality in her voice cut Luke
to the bone.
So this was not some
communication mishap, then. And Alex
was not in the hospital. Luke really was
being dumped.  Why? was all Luke
could manage.
 I guess you d have to ask him.
 I would, but he won t speak to
me, Luke said. His voice broke.
Amy seemed to take pity on him.
 Look, I ll ask Alex to e-mail you. She
hesitated.  You should know that he
won t be at The Woodsman when you
get back. We re moving his stuff out at
the end of the month. He s going to live
with our folks until he finds something
else.
 But& that s Alex s place. It s set
up for a wheelchair. He can t just leave
it!
 Yeah. It sucks that he has to.
Good-bye, Luke. Amy hung up.
Luke was going to be sick. He
made it to the men s room and sank
down in a cubicle, cold and sweating.
He felt hot pressure behind his eyes.
When was the last time he d cried? High
school maybe. He covered his face with
his hand and fought to get himself under
control. The pain in his chest it felt
like his heart was breaking. He d never
known how literal that could be.
Alex, I m so sorry. I know I fucked
up, but it can t be this bad. Please.
He suddenly remembered that Amy
said she d try to get Alex to e-mail him.
In a flash, Luke was on his feet. He
splashed cold water on his face and
went back to his desk, looking down to
use his long hair as camouflage. He
woke up his monitor.
There was an e-mail from Alex.
Luke,
You were really nice to me, and
you never promised me anything. I wish [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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