[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

identical twins. Only one twin wanted to change her looks; the other didn t. As adults, the twins no longer
looked exactly alike. The  ugly one in a given pair had suffered a broken nose or damaged teeth or had
put on extra weight. The dramatic thing for me was how minor these cosmetic defects were compared to
the intense belief, shared by both twins, that one was extremely beautiful and the other distressingly ugly.
The  ugly ones admitted that not a day went by without comparing themselves to their  beautiful sisters.
In this TV program one could witness all the steps that lead to suffering:
Overlooking actual facts
Adopting a negative perception
Reinforcing that perception by obsessive thinking
Getting lost in the pain without looking for a way out
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
Comparing yourself to others
Cementing the suffering through relationships
The handbook on how to suffer would include all these steps, which build up a sense of unreality until it
seems totally real. And by implication, the directions for putting an end to suffering would reverse these
steps and bring the person back to reality.
Overlooking the facts:The beginning of suffering is often a refusal to look at how the situation really is.
Several years ago some researchers conducted a study to find out how people deal with crisis when it
unexpectedly arises. The study was sponsored by therapists hoping to learn where people turn for help
when they find themselves in trouble. When the worst misfortune occurs when someone gets fired, has
a spouse walk out, hears a diagnosis of cancer about 15 percent seek some kind of help from a
counselor, therapist, or pastor. The rest watch TV. They refuse to even consider looking at the problem
or opening it up to discussion with someone who might help.
The therapists behind the study were appalled by this deep denial, but I couldn t help thinking: Isn t
watching TV a natural reaction? People instinctively try to blot out pain with pleasure. Buddha faced the
same situation many centuries ago. People at the time of Buddha were also trying to blot out pain
because the monsoons didn t come and all their crops died, or their whole family perished in a cholera
epidemic. Without TV they had to find other escapes, but the assumption was the same: Pleasure is
better than pain; therefore, it must be the answer to suffering.
Replacing pleasure with pain may work in the short run. Both are sensations, and if one is strong enough
it can cancel out the other. But Buddha didn t teach that life hurts because of pain; it hurts because the
cause of suffering hasn t been examined. Someone can be sitting by the pool in Miami Beach, watching a
favorite sitcom, eating chocolate, and being tickled with a feather at the same time. The person won t feel
much pain, but she could be suffering very deeply anyway. And the only lasting way out is to take steps
that will confront the source of the suffering, the first step being a willingness to look at what is actually
happening.
Negative perceptions:Reality is perception, and the suffering person gets trapped by negative
perceptions of his own creation. Perception keeps the pain under control, not by reducing it but by
sealing outeven greater pain. This twist is the one most people find hard to understand. The body
discharges pain automatically, yet the mind can override that instinct by turning the pain into something
 good, in the sense that it s better than other, even worse possibilities. Inner confusion and conflict are
why the mind has such a hard time healing itself, despite all the power it holds. The power has been
turned against itself, and thus perception, which could end suffering in an instant, locks the door instead.
Reinforcing a perception:Perceptions are fluid unless we seal them in place. The self is like a
constantly shifting system that incorporates the new into the old at every moment. If you constantly
obsess over old perceptions, however, they become reinforced with each repetition. Let s consider a
specific example. Anorexia nervosa is the medical term given to a condition in which a person, usually a
girl under the age of twenty, adopts starvation as a way of life. If you interview an anorexic teenager who
weighs under 90 pounds and show her four pictures of body images, ranging from the thinnest to the [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

zanotowane.pl

doc.pisz.pl

pdf.pisz.pl

skierniewice.pev.pl